Dealing with Exam Anxiety

The stress of exams, and the anxiety that comes with it can leave you feeling overwhelmed and panicky. And that sucks. So let’s explore some ideas for how you can help keep that exam anxiety in check.

Pro tip: all of these things are gonna be useful in your every day life too – so def worth practising them beyond just exam season!

Recognise What You’re Feeling: 

But before we get into it, let’s make one thing clear: feeling anxious before a test is totally normal. Heck, it can even beneficial in small doses. Anxiety signals that something important is at stake, which can motivate you to prepare. But when stress becomes overwhelming, it hurts more than it helps.

Remind yourself that anxiety does not mean you’re incapable. It simply means you care. Try to observe your anxious thoughts without judgment, and acknowledge them for what they are (just thoughts, not destiny).

Test anxiety often stems from catastrophising – blowing the consequences out of proportion . Simply naming the fear (“I’m afraid of failing math and disappointing my parents”) can take some of its power away. Which means you can address it a bit more rationally.

1. Practice Calming Breathing Techniques

When anxiety strikes, one of the quickest ways to soothe your nervous system is through deep breathing. Exam nerves often kick our bodies into “fight-or-flight” mode. When we’re in this state, our breathing becomes fast and shallow, and your heart races. So by consciously slowing down your breath, you can trigger the opposite reaction: the parasympathetic “rest and relax” response that calms you down . Research shows that deep belly breathing can significantly lower stress hormone levels and reduce anxiety.

How to do it: Take a slow, deep breath in (feel your belly expand), then breathe out slowly. Repeat. Simple. Focus on making your exhales long and steady – this tells your brain you’re safe.

Something we like to do is box breathing. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, and repeat . As you do these exercises, try to relax your muscles too – maybe roll your shoulders or unclench your jaw, which often tenses up when we’re stressed .

2. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment

Anxiety often pulls our minds into a whirlwind of “what ifs.” Grounding techniques can halt that spiral by anchoring you to the here and now. The technique we’ve been shouting about for years is Grounding 5-4-3-2-1. It’s super simply, you name:

• 5 things you can see around you (the classroom door, your pen, a spot on the wall – any visible details) ,
• 4 things you can touch (your feet on the floor, the texture of your shirt, the cool desk under your hands) ,
• 3 things you can hear (perhaps the hum of ventilation, distant footsteps, or even your own breathing) ,
• 2 things you can smell (maybe your freshly sharpened pencil, or the fabric softener on your shirt) ,
• 1 thing you can taste (even if it’s just the lingering mint from toothpaste or gum) .

By going through your senses one by one, you redirect your mind away from anxious thoughts and toward your immediate environment. This exercise effectively grounds you in the present so that your brain isn’t running away into worry about the future or dwelling on the past.

The underlying message you’re sending yourself is: I am here, right now. I am safe. This helps break the cycle of panic and brings a sense of control back to you.

3. Shift Your Mindset and Self-Talk

Our own thoughts can be our worst enemy or our best coach when it comes to exam anxiety. A big part of managing anxiety is learning to catch those negative thoughts and gently change the narrative .

Start paying attention to the script in your head when you’re stressed about exams. Are you telling yourself things like “I’m going to fail,” “I’m just not good at this,” or “If I mess this up, my life is over”? These thoughts can send anyone into a tailspin of panic. The key is to recognise when you’re thinking this way and challenge those thoughts – basically, talk back to them with a more balanced, encouraging perspective.

For example, instead of thinking: “I have to get top marks or I’m a failure,” try reframing it to:“I’ve prepared as best I can, and I’ll do my best – even if I don’t get a perfect score, it’s not the end of the world.” .

Rather than: “I feel stupid and hopeless at this subject,” remind yourself: “I am capable – one exam won’t define my intelligence or worth.” These kinds of mindset shifts, grounded in self-compassion and reality, can seriously dial down your anxiety.

You wouldn’t tell a friend “You’ll surely fail,” right? You’d probably say something much more encouraging. Do the same for yourself.

Something to try: You might find it helpful to actually write this stuff down. Sometimes just the process of getting your thoughts out of your brain and onto paper in front you can help give you perspective, or even clarity.

4. Take Care of Your Body

It’s hard to have a calm mind if your body is on edge. Physical health and mental health are tightly connected, especially when it comes to stress. By taking care of your body’s basic needs, you build a stronger foundation for managing anxiety.

Prioritise sleep

Getting enough restful sleep is one of the most effective anti-anxiety measures (and it’s free!). Unfortunately, when exams loom, sleep is often the first thing we sacrifice. You pull a late night cramming, or toss and turn with worry. Ironically, lack of sleep intensifies anxiety – it makes it much harder to concentrate, remember information, and keep emotions in check.

Experts recommend around 8–10 hours of sleep for teens and about 7–9 hours for adults per night for optimal functioning. If that sounds impossible, at least aim to improve the quality of the sleep you do get: shut off revision screens at least 30 minutes before bed, do a calming routine (like light reading or a hot shower), and keep your sleep schedule as regular as you can.

Want some more tips about having a good night’s sleep? Check out this blog post!

Stay active

When anxiety builds up, physical activity is an excellent way to burn off that nervous energy and boost your mood. You don’t need to hit the gym for two hours; even a 20-minute walk can help. Research shows that aerobic exercise (like jogging, biking, dancing – anything that gets your heart rate up) is a powerful natural anxiety reliever . It releases endorphins and other brain chemicals that reduce stress and improve your sense of well-being .

If you’re feeling jittery while studying, take a short movement break: do some stretches, pace around the room, or try a few jumping jacks. You’ll likely come back a bit calmer and more focused. Physical movement tells your body, “We’ve dealt with the ‘threat’,” so your fight-or-flight system can simmer down. As Harvard psychiatrists put it, exercise is like a reset for an anxious brain.

Eat and hydrate (but watch the caffeine)

Ever notice how everything feels worse when you’re hungry? Low blood sugar can mimic anxiety symptoms (weakness, lightheadedness) or make you more irritable and nervous. So, don’t skip meals, especially on exam days. Even if your stomach is full of butterflies, try to eat something light and nutritious before the test – like yogurt with fruit, a banana and peanut butter, or whatever sits well for you. This will give your brain steady fuel.

Also remember to stay hydrated; even mild dehydration can worsen anxiety and affect concentration. Limit caffeine and energy drinks if you’re prone to anxiety. If you’ve been guzzling energy drinks to power through revision, be mindful – those can trigger panic-like feelings or insomnia. Experts advise cutting back on caffeine during high-stress periods . Swap in some herbal tea or decaf now and then; your nerves will thank you.

Keep a balanced routine

When exams are imminent, it’s easy to become all about study 24/7. But humans aren’t machines – we need breaks and variety to function at our best. In fact, neglecting all the enjoyable and relaxing parts of life tends to make anxiety worse . Try to maintain some balance during exam season. Schedule small breaks to recharge: a 10-minute phone call with a friend, a quick walk outside, listening to a favorite song, or petting your dog. 

Stay connected with friends and family; a little moral support or a laugh can greatly reduce stress. Make time for basic self-care: shower, stretch, step outside for fresh air, keep your living space reasonably tidy – these little actions can create a sense of normalcy and control.

Deliberately penciling in meals, breaks, and down-time will help prevent exhaustion and keep your mind fresher. Think of it this way: taking care of your body and well-being is part of your exam prep. It puts you in the best shape to cope with stress and think clearly when you need to.

5. Keep Perspective and Seek Support

Finally, remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Anxiety can make us feel very isolated, like we’re the only one struggling while everyone else has it together. But trust us, exam anxiety is extremely common, and opening up about it can be a huge relief. Talk to someone you trust – a friend, a parent, a teacher, a mentor – about how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, let people know so they can support you.

Sometimes just a pep talk or sharing revision notes with friends can ease your nerves. Other times, you might need a bigger kind of support – and that’s okay too. Professional help is available if anxiety is really interfering with your life. Try talking to a school counselor or a therapist if your exam anxiety feels unmanageable despite trying these strategies.

Above all, try to keep a healthy perspective about exams. Remember that your grades do NOT define your value as a person . It’s easy to slip into all-or-nothing thinking under pressure – like believing your entire future hinges on this one test. In reality, life is much bigger. One set of exam results won’t make or break your future opportunities . There are many paths to success, and many forms of success, beyond exam scores.

A final thought: 

While you can’t snap your fingers and banish anxiety altogether (and you wouldn’t want to, since a little stress keeps you motivated), you can learn to keep it at a healthy level. By practicing calming breaths, grounding yourself in the moment, shifting negative thought patterns, looking after your body’s needs, and reaching out for support, you’ll build resilience against exam stress.

You might be surprised at how much a small change (like a breathing break or a mindset tweak) can improve your mood and focus. Go into your exams knowing you’ve prepared and that you have coping skills in your toolkit. No matter what happens, you’ll handle it. And remember: you are so much more than any grade on a paper. Keep that perspective, take a deep breath, and go show that exam who’s boss. Good luck – you’ve got this!

If you found this helpful:

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Breathe. You can get through this.

First off, feeling anxious is something that everyone will experience at some point in their life and is way more common than you may think. 

For some people it’ll be anxiety around things like exams, starting a new job or taking your driving test. For others it can be more of an ongoing issue that can affect you more deeply. It’s important to remember that whatever is going on behind the scenes, it’s just your body’s way of dealing with anything it feels is stressful.

Basically, what we’re saying is please don’t ever feel like you’re a weirdo for feeling anxious. It’s totally natural and the good thing is there are lots of resources out there that can help you. Youtube videos, podcasts, articles to read and heck, even loads of tik tocks about dealing with anxiety- understanding your anxiety is going to play a big part in how you deal with it. 

However before you get your anxiety study cap on check out some easy tips we’ve picked up that you might find useful right now! 

Remember, these are just suggestions so tailor them to your needs, talk through them with your family or friends and figure out what works for you! 

Anxiety can be one real tough son of a gun, but you are 100% tougher!

Take Care of YOU

When we say take care of yourself, it might seem a bit boring or obvious but we mean things like eating good, getting a decent amount of quality rest and doing some daily exercise! Anxiety can have a really physical effect on your body, so make sure you’re taking care of your body as best you can. If you’re doing that then you’re giving yourself the best possible chance at getting through your anxious patches. 

We hear a lot that sleep can be a struggle, so a little while ago we put together this cracking blog post on getting a good night’s sleep to help you out- give it a read! Decent sleep is going to help you feel rested and energised. Fuelling yourself with good food is going to keep you physically healthy (when we say good we mean fruit and vegetables and balanced meals- i WISH we meant crisps and pizza!) 

And make sure you’re getting your heart rate up and releasing those endorphins through physical exercise! Basically, show yourself some care.

Connect With People

The old saying of a problem shared is a problem halved is pretty spot on! Every time there’s something on your mind that’s making you anxious, talk it through with someone you trust. Even if they don’t have all the answers, it can be helpful to just vent and get things off your chest. By telling someone about your worries you’re making them seem less scary, and talking them through can help you make sense of them. If you’re not sure what is setting you off, just having a chat and a laugh with a pal can make you feel lighter too. 

If you can’t talk to anyone about what’s going on in your life, then there’s always helplines there for you, run by professionals who are trained to support you. If speaking on the phone seems a bit scary (we get you, we hate it too!) then there’s lots of helplines linked on our site. There’s some you can message or email instead! Phew!   

Please know that if you’re really struggling with anxiety and it’s affecting your life in a big way, it might be a good shout to let a family member or friend know. Check in with your GP too. 

Sometimes it’s hard to just start the conversation right?! We’ve linked a blog post here that we wrote with tips about telling someone that you self-harm but it’s also pretty relevant to telling someone you’re feeling anxious. 

Become A Relaxation Master!

When you feel anxious your body and mind are in a tense and heightened state of panic. So trying to relax can be really difficult! The more you do to make yourself feel safe and calm, the more you’re going to help yourself. Think about what chills you out the most. This could be wrapping yourself in a blanket or some cosy clothing (check out our super soft fleece hoodies!), treating yourself to a bath with some candles, or having a cuddle on the sofa with your cat or dog! Maybe it’s doing some breathing exercises or some yoga/ meditation! It might even be just going to bed and keeping yourself safe. 

Music is a good tool for helping you switch off- check out this super chilled playlist we put together a little while back! Or make a playlist of songs that help you relax! 

Focus On The Good Stuff

Sometimes you just need to be distracted when you’re anxious, so we recommend you sit down and write a quick list of some good stuff you’ve got going on. This could be cool stuff you have to look forward to or a list of things you enjoy doing. It could even be your top 5 bands or books right now! Taking your mind off the negative feelings you’re dealing with can help you start looking for the positives and change your thinking. 

Practice gratitude by thinking of three things that you’re grateful for. Have a chat with your funniest, most positive pal and let their energy rub off on you! Tell yourself something you’re proud of you for getting through each day. Even if it’s just “I’m proud that I made it through today!” Be mindful of what you are capable of and far you’ve come. 

Just Breathe and Get Through This

Yeah yeah, you’re breathing all the time right?!  But in those tense moments take a slow deep breath if you can and imagine your stress leaving your body. This is a good mini way to try and balance yourself in tough times. You could even get cosy and wrap yourself up in a blanket. Try doing some breathing techniques at the same time! Bonus anxiety busting vibes! 

If you’re around something that stresses you out, move away from it if you can. If your instinct is telling you to leave then that’s OK. If you can, get somewhere where you can calm yourself down. Go outside if you can and pinpoint 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This technique is called grounding 54321 and is a quick way to focus yourself and distract you from any spiralling thoughts.

When I’m feeling anxious I always tell myself that this is the eye of the storm. Things WILL get better. I’ve got through worse before and these feelings will pass. I find it really comforting and it helps me know that there’s an end in sight. I just have to get through the next minute. And if i survive that maybe I’ll get through the next.

If you’d like to hear more from us about dealing with anxiety then check out this helpful little number about managing stress. 

We acknowledge how tough dealing with anxious feelings can be and we hear you. We want you to know that you have more power over your thoughts than you think. Start small with some of these little suggestions and figure out what works for you. Then hopefully tackling the tough times will be a little more manageable, and you’ll feel a little better. 🙂

If you feel angry, that’s ok.

Anger is one of those funny emotions that is perfectly natural. But in the modern world, getting angry is almost.. frowned upon. We need ways to express our anger, and get it off our chests. But we need to do it in a healthy, productive way that isn’t going to end up hurting the people around us, or ourselves.

At HATW, that’s our jam. We’re all about helping you find things that can work for you when you’re feeling low. It’s important to have a bunch of ideas for different emotions. Because what works if you’re feeling angry won’t necessarily help if you’re feeling scared (it might well do! But it’s better to be prepared!).

So we’ve compiled a list of 5 things to try if you feel angry:

Collage

This is one of the first coping techniques that we found from talking to people in the early days of HATW. Check out Becky’s story to read all about it. But the upshot is: grab a bunch of magazines, papers, etc and just rip them all up. Big bits, small bits, straight lines or all over the place. Just this act of ripping up paper is a great way to get out those feelings of anger. Then, once you’ve got all your ripped up bits, turn them into something beautiful. This is our favourite form of art, cuz it doesn’t matter if you’re good at drawing or painting. Literally anyone can do this!

We also do these in our school workshops – find out more about our workshops here!

Exercise

I feel like exercise is one of those coping techniques that we’re all aware of, but that most of us would rather do anything else. If you ever saw me in PE in school, then you’ll know what I mean. But the good news is: exercise can take many forms.

One thing I notice when I get triggered, is that.. energy. I sometimes start to shake cuz that energy needs to go SOMEWHERE. So doing something physically active – be that running, lifting weights, or even punching a pillow – might be helpful if you feel angry.

Find out more about why exercise is flippin’ great in this video about physical resilience.

If you wanna see more videos from us; make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel!

Drums

Ok, this is maybe not the most practical one, but it’s kinda how the HATW story started! One of our founders, Si, found that drumming helped deal with those feelings of anger & frustration that were leading him to self-harm. If you have the chance, take it out on a drum kit rather than yourself if you feel angry. It has the added benefit of keeping your brain busy by doing different things with your arms and legs.

And hey, even if you don’t have a drum kit, you can still tap out some simple patterns with your hands. Just on a surface like a table, pretend you’re doing a drum roll for a big announcement, but make it as fast and as long as you can!

Check out Si’s story to find out more about how drumming helped him. 

Full disclaimer: it’s Si writing this, and it feels weird writing in 3rd person.

If you’re thinking of thrashing a kit, you’ll need some sticks! Luckily, HATW’s got you covered!

Scream into a pillow

What’s one of the most natural reactions if you’re feeling angry? Screaming and shouting! Sometimes you can literally feel it bubbling up inside you and it feels like it just HAS to come out. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with heavy music tbh! We made a playlist of ace shout-y music, but with a positive message. Check it out below!

Unfortunately. One of the side effects is that we often end up shouting or screaming at the people close to us. And/or you end up getting shouted at for shouting..!

So shouting or screaming into a pillow is a bit of a workaround. It lets you get it off your chest without bringing the house down with you. If you’re lucky enough to live near some country side or a beach, you could just go out into nature and let out a big ole yell. It feels GREAT. Just make sure it doesn’t end up sounding like you’re in danger and someone ends up running over to you..!

Punch something soft

Straight off the bat: your siblings don’t count as “something soft”, mmkay?

This one is more what we’d call “harm reduction”. It’s not great to punch stuff in general. But we hear from a lot of folks that they punch walls when they’re angry. It’s related to that idea of needing to do SOMETHING with all the energy that comes along with those angry feelings. So if you’re gonna punch something, make sure it’s something soft like a pillow or a stuffed toy. If you have the option, a proper punching bag could be a good shout!

Kinda related too: stress toys could be a mini version of this that you can take out and about with you.

Try these next time you feel angry

I mean, really, the best thing to do is try and recognise what it is that makes you angry and why it’s causing you to react like that. But, in the heat of the moment, you sometimes just need to let it out. These are a couple of ideas that might help in the short term.

Don’t forget to check out the Things To Try page for a bunch more ideas that can help with all the different emotions you experience.

If you found this helpful, please consider checking out our merch with a message! It’s the main way that we’re able to keep creating stuff like this, and we think it looks great (if we say so ourselves). 

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Stress is pretty much a constant in our lives, but it doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, and it doesn’t have to control us. Short-term stress can be connected to something you’re excited or nervous about, and it can push you to put in maximum effort. Long-term stress, however, is less helpful and can have a negative impact on your mind and body, which is why it’s important to find the coping strategies that can help you manage that stress.

What causes stress?

There really are no rules when it comes to potential causes of stress, and every person reacts differently in every situation. A textbook definition of stress would call it your body’s reaction to a threat, or to pressure, but that pressure doesn’t have to be massive. Our bodies and minds have unique responses to stressful situations, and you should never be ashamed of feeling overwhelmed, it just means your body is doing its best to deal with the situation you’re in. 

You might feel stressed if you have have too much on our plate, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re the busiest person on the planet — maybe there’s tension at home, or you’re going through a rough patch in a relationship, and adding even “normal” stress from school or work on top of that can push you over the edge and feel unmanageable. It’s times like these when your body needs a little help, and that’s where coping strategies come in.

When we’re really young, most of our stress comes from within the home, generally centered around big life changes like divorce or moving house. However, as we get older, our potential sources of stress expand to outside of the home, to include our school life, friends, relationships, work, and beyond. We can think of this time as a converging of two worlds: our home life, with all the stress that comes with it, and school, which holds all the stress of our social life and relationships, coupled with the stress of academics. When you think of it that way, it’s no surprise we’re all so stressed out all the time. Thinking about where stress comes from can also help you organise and prioritise your worries, which is a helpful coping mechanism when you’re overwhelmed.

When everything stacks up it can start to feel pretty stressful. But you CAN get through it!

How does stress feel to you?

Just like how we all find different things stressful, stress also presents itself differently in each of us. For some, it’s very physical, and can result in a loss of appetite, feeling ill, headaches and body aches, tightness in the chest, and issues sleeping. For others, it can make them pull away from things they used to enjoy, from people they love, and they can get wrapped up in the things going on in their head. 

It’s important to recognise how stress feels to you, so you can get to know the warning signs your body sends to let you know it’s getting overwhelmed. When you start to feel overwhelmed, you can use positive coping techniques to keep yourself calm and manage your stress methodically, so it doesn’t get out of hand.

You could try: Next time you start to feel overwhelmed with stress, try writing down how you feel in that moment. Is your heart beating fast? Are you sweating? Is your chest tight, or are you breathing differently? You don’t have to necessarily do anything with this information, it’s just good to know how stress affects your body on a physical level. This can even help calm us down, because we recognise the physical warning signs and can attribute them to stress, rather than worrying about why we are feeling them.

Writing everything down in a list might help you think about things differently

I’m stressed out — what can I do? 

Like we said before, small amounts of stress can be super helpful as motivation to tackle difficult tasks. But, when we feel overwhelmed, it’s often a combination of many small stressors that feel like one big ball of anxiety weighing us down, and if we can separate them out and think about them individually, they’re suddenly not so scary. Here are a few things you can try that can help you form positive habits, which help manage stress long-term: 

• Write a list: This one may seem overly simple, but putting down on paper word-for-word the things you’re worried about forces your brain to think about them in a rational way. It gets the worries out of your head, where they’re jumbled together and often unclear, and out in the open, where you can deal with them one at a time.
  
• Say things out loud: Once you’ve listed out the things you’re stressing over, try saying them out loud — talk through where that stress came from, and why you’re so worried about it. For example, maybe you’re worried about a coursework deadline, but you weren’t worried about it until yesterday because someone sent a message to the group chat saying they were worried about it, and you started overthinking it. By dissecting that stress out loud, your brain can be rational about it, and suddenly the stress isn’t all-consuming — it’s just another thing you’ll deal with this week.
• Set aside time for yourself: When you take the time to separate out your thoughts and tackle each of them individually, rather than let yourself be overwhelmed by them all at once, you free up space in your mind to focus on other things. You could fill this time with positive coping strategies, which could be anything from drawing, journaling, or painting — all creative outlets that can help us express our thoughts and emotions — or with mindful activities like exercising, listening to music, podcasts, meditating, or reading, all of which can occupy our minds and help us unwind when we’re preoccupied.

I’m spiraling — what can I do right now?

Here are a few coping techniques that can help get you through a particularly stressful moment, where you may feel panicky, frustrated, or just out of control: 

• Running, or walking fast
• Take a cold shower
• Using mindfulness/meditation apps like Calm or Headspace
• Reassess your to-do list — what absolutely has to happen today, what can wait?
• Scream into a pillow, or your hands
• Cleaning something, like your room or the kitchen
• Grounding 5-4-3-2-1 — 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste

It’s perfectly normal to want to scream while you’re stressed. Try doing it into a pillow!

When you need some support

Seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of, and neither is talking about your worries — everyone is working through their own stress, and talking about it with people you trust can be extremely beneficial, whether that’s calling a helpline, your therapist, or your best friend. Always remember, no matter how overwhelmed you feel, you’re not alone, and it will pass. Trust your coping techniques, ask for help, and you’ll be okay.

Always remember that feeling stressed is normal, and so is needing some help in managing that stress. If you find that your usual coping techniques aren’t cutting it, there are other resources that can help you. You can find an extensive list of helplines and other resources on our website, here. 

There are hundreds of helplines and sources of information and advice available, especially online, and they are often designed specifically for certain situations — Childline, for example, provides support tailored to young people under the age of 19, whereas Beat provides support for people struggling with eating disorders, and Switchboard is an LGBT+ helpline. 

Who can you call? 

Always remember that helplines like Samaritans are always available to help (call 116 123), but there are so many other resources out there that you might find helpful! We’ve listed a few below, but you can find more on the Helplines page of our website.

• MEIC – provides advice tailored to your age range, up to 25 in Wales. They can help find out what’s going on in your local area, or help you deal with a tricky situation. They offer information, advice and support with no judgement.
• The Mix – a support service for under 25s, available 365 days a year. They’re there to help you take on any challenge you’re facing – from mental health to money, from homelessness to finding a job, from break-ups to drugs.
• C.A.L.L. – offers emotional support and information on mental health and related matters to people in Wales. If you’re concerned about your own mental health, or someone that you know, you can call or text C.A.L.L. for a confidential listening and support service.

Whatever it is you’re facing, there’s always someone there you can speak to you.

How to relax without the fancy app

There are tons of free spaces online where you can find guided meditation and mindfulness exercises, on Spotify, Youtube, and beyond — you don’t need to subscribe to an app to find peace of mind. You can find guided meditations and sleep stories from Calm (yes, like the app) on their Youtube channel, along with other meditation channels like this one. 

On Spotify, you can find almost every kind of podcast — I like to listen to them to sleep when I’m stressed. Check out this one, which tells boring stories until you fall asleep, or this one that reads you bedtime stories paired with a short meditation to help you fall asleep easier. You can even find meditation music on Spotify, designed to help you take five minutes out of your day to reset. Anywhere you find podcasts, you can find something to help you relax.

Remember, we all deal with stress, and it affects everyone differently, so don’t beat yourself up if what works for your pal doesn’t work for you — just keep on truckin’ and you’ll find ‘your thing’ that helps you cope. 

We’re all only human, and stress is a part of that, but finding ways to slow things down and work through them piece by piece will help you keep on crushin’ it!

While we’re currently on lock down, there’s all sorts of advice about how to have fun while you’re indoors. But here’s some tips for staying safe if you’re at home and your home isn’t a safe space. We’ve obviously written these for quarantine, but they’re pretty useful in general.

Please remember, if you’re in immediate danger/someone is threatening to hurt you/ someone has hurt you please call the emergency services on 999. 

Keep Talking

Make sure you’re speaking to friends and other family members regularly. Try and plan things like video calls, playing games or watching things together through Netflix Party  so you’re having a break from the people in your house. 

Think about who you can trust and who you’re happy to confide in. Let them know if you feel unsafe or if something happens at home that isn’t OK. 

If you need to, think of a code word system that you can message someone and they’ll ring you straight away or call the emergency services, depending on what’s happening. It could be any word of your choosing but make it stand out, make it memorable and make sure the person you’re contacting understands what the word is and what it means for them. Ask them to check in with you at a certain time of the day when you need a reason to leave a room or take a break from a potentially confrontational situation. Here’s some Government guidance on how to get help, that you might find useful too. 

If you feel like you don’t have anyone you can talk to, then there are lots of helplines and support services out there. They can help you with what to say and who to contact. We’ve linked a few here! 

Cooling Off

Being stuck inside can increase people’s frustrations, so be aware of disagreements, tempers escalating and people lashing out.  Try and avoid unsafe circumstances as best you can. If a tense situation occurs, walk away. Right now it’s about diffusing these situations to keep you and others in your house  safe. Think about why you need to try and stay calm, and the consequences of the actions you may take.

Having a cool off period might mean that you can address things more calmly at a later point. If you can go out for a walk (safely whilst respecting social distancing) then get some fresh air and have some space. Plan reasons to leave the room, like taking your dog for a walk or taking out the bins. These can be used to escape intense environments when you need to.

Safe Space in the House

Avoid rooms/ times of the day where stressful situations  may occur. Try and figure out a room or place in your house/ garden where you feel safe.  Think about where you do your work and where you chill out. Try and have a separation for your own peace of mind, but also to give yourself some structure. Where can you go that’s going to keep you out of harm’s way? Where do you feel comfortable and where can you have some alone time? 

Safety Plan

A safety plan is a tool to assist in identifying options and evaluating them, and can limit the harm brought upon you.

There is no right or wrong way to develop a safety plan but you have to come up with it yourself so it’s easier to remember. Think about the following:

• Who to call
• A safe place you can stay or get to
• Things you need in an emergency- medication you take/your phone charger etc
• What to do if you’re caring for someone else or if they need support
• What is the safest and quickest  way out of your house
• To tell the  police if you’ve left home
• Remember- In an emergency call 999

We recommend keeping your mobile charged and with you as much as you can. We also suggest you try and have a little money on you. Keep your emergency items somewhere handy and close to your exit, so they’re easy to grab if you need them. 

Helplines, Apps and Support

I know we keep saying about helplines but this is what they’re here for. These services are run by people trained to listen and to help you. They are professional and they will do their best to help you. Normally we’d recommend speaking to a teacher or your GP but that’s not that easy right now.Here’s some places that are still operating that you can contact from home:

Young Minds Crisis Messenger service
Text YM to 85258 for free 24/7 mental health support if you are having a mental health crisis.

Childline
www.childline.org.uk
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, email or chat online about any problem big or small.
Freephone 24/7 helpline: 0800 1111
Sign up for a childline account on the website to be able to message a counsellor anytime without using your email address. 
Chat 1:1 with an online advisor

Samaritans
For anyone in distress or needing support you can contact Samaritans for free anytime day or night. 
www.samaritans.org
Freephone (UK and Republic of Ireland): 116 123 (24 hours)
Email: jo@samaritans.org

The Mix
For under 25’s- lot’s of advice and info on support services.
www.themix.org.uk
Freephone: 0808 808 4994 (1pm – 11pm daily)

Women’s Aid
If you identify as a woman and you feel like you might be dealing with domestic abuse you can talk to Women’s Aid who offer free, confidential support.
www.womensaid.org.uk
Email: helpline@womensaid.org.uk
You can also chat to a support worker using their free instant messenger service, Mon-Fri (10am-12pm)

Stonewall
If you’re part of the LGBT+ community and you’re struggling at home right now check out Stonewall. Lots of info and support if you freephone 0800 0502020. Lines are open 9.30am-4.30pm Monday- Friday. 

Bright Sky
Bright Sky is a free to download mobile app, providing support and information to anyone who may be in an abusive relationship or those concerned about someone they know. It looks like your average weather app but has a lot of info on that can help you. 

Look After Yourself

These are strange and stressful times. Please remember to take care of yourself as much as you can. That could be as simple as remembering to  eat or trying to get a good night’s sleep. Heck, even just having a shower every day is a good goal to set. Try and do as much self care as you can right now. Do things that make you happy. We’ve got a bunch of ideas on our website for ways you can cope. If you’re struggling right now then check out some of our suggestions here. 

Please know that anything that happens to you is not your fault. You are worth happiness and love. You deserve to be safe. 

Realising you’re Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender can be an incredibly freeing process, but it also brings with it a new set of challenges and stresses. One of the big things that can stress people out as they come to terms with their gender or sexuality is the pressure to come out.

The first and most important piece of advice I have to give is that you don’t have to come out at all if you don’t want to, or don’t think you’re ready to. It doesn’t make your sexuality or gender any less valid if you don’t want to tell people right now, or ever. If your home situation isn’t one that’s too accepting, it can be a brave thing to do to keep being LGBT+ to yourself, in the interests of your safety. Don’t let anyone tell you you have to be out, especially if it might make things more difficult for you.

Sometimes though, staying “in the closet” about your gender or sexuality can take a toll on your mental health. It might make you anxious or depressed if you feel like you’re keeping a secret from everyone, and in that case coming out can help your mental health. If you decide you want to come out, here are some tips on how to do it.

Pick a supportive person
It might be a close friend, or a parent, but think about who you think will respond well and trust to keep it to themselves, if you don’t want other people to know yet. Maybe pick someone else who is LGBT+, if you know anyone. You can choose to tell as many or as few people as you want, but it can make the first time easier if you’re more confident of a positive reaction. Having one person know means if you want, when you have some of the ‘scarier’ coming out talks (with parents, for example), you can take someone with you.

Think about how you want to tell them
You might prefer to do it face to face when you’re alone, or to write down what you want to say in a letter- there’s no set way to have an important conversation with someone, and you should do it however you think you’ll be most comfortable. You might want to write things down and give the person some space to read what you have to say, before talking about it. Try to make sure you’ve got enough time to not feel rushed, and if you’re nervous maybe grab a nice drink or snack to have with you. Cafes can be great neutral spaces that give you a bit of privacy if you want to talk to a friend, and sitting down with a cup of tea can make the situation feel less formal.

Be prepared for questions

No one else can see inside your head, so it’s likely whoever you tell will have some questions. Depending on how clued up they are about LGBT issues, these can be as basic as “but what does transgender mean?” to more specific inquiries about your personal relationship with a label. You’re never obligated to answer questions you feel are invasive or rude- or any at all- but it can be useful to have some answers prepared just in case.

Plan something nice for afterwards
Give yourself some space after you’ve had the conversation, no matter how it has gone. Whether you stick on some favourite music and go for a walk, or curl up in bed with a good TV show, it’s important to take some time to feel whatever you’re feeling. Cry if you need to, or have a dance party in your room! Coming out can be a draining thing even when it goes well, just because you’re opening up about something that’s important to you. Make sure you have something to eat if you’re feeling a little shaky from nerves too.

Be proud of yourself
Whether it’s a very low-key chat that is over in a few minutes, or a bigger, more intense conversation; whether the person takes it badly or really well, it’s a huge achievement to come out. Feel your feelings, whatever they are, but remember to give yourself a pat on the back. I’m proud of and impressed by the bravery of every single person who’s ever come out to be, and it’s easy to feel that for a friend, but you deserve to feel proud of yourself too.

At HATW we’ve experienced the loss of a friend recently who helped us out a lot- so we wanted to write some suggestions down for dealing with losing someone, based on our own experiences from the past. Losing a family member or friend can be incredibly hard. It can be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to deal with and to be quite frank it absolutely sucks. It can take a really long time to come to terms with, and it can have a serious impact on you forever. I’m unfortunate enough to have lost quite a few family members and friends over the last 10 years, and these are the things I have picked up along the way that I try and remember now, as our community deals with losing our friend Alex.

-First and foremost, let yourself be sad, and let yourself be angry. Yes, you may have to put on a brave face for others and be strong for your friends and family’s sake- but it’s also vital to let yourself deal with your grief. Bottling things up will just mean that you’re putting off accepting the loss and may cause more harm further down the road. Being sad or having a cry can sometimes really help with letting go of your emotional pain, and releasing your frustrations. If you’re angry, try and release that in a way that doesn’t harm yourself or anyone else. Take out your pain on a punch bag or a pillow, rip up paper or scream as loud as you can.

-Take time to reflect. Think about the person who has passed away and remember the good times you had. Think of the funny stories and in-jokes and laugh about them. It’s a good comfort and just as important as crying is. You can reflect in any way that feels right to you. Write down your happy memories or things you loved about them, make a scrapbook with photos, words, mementos and stories in, or print and frame photos of good times. However you want to express yourself and your life with the person, there are no rules for reflecting and remembering.

-Accepting help from others is crucial when you’re grieving. If you’re anything like me when someone passes away I fluctuate between feeling really numb and pushing people away, to feeling very upset and needing to talk to people, being really needy and not wanting to be left on my own. When I’m in the headspace of not wanting help from anyone, it’s hard to see how comfort from anyone else will make a difference. But sometimes without even knowing it, a chat with a friend, a phone call to a family member or the small kindnesses that people offer when someone dies can really mean a lot and remind you there are people that care and are willing to listen and support you.

-Speaking to the person that has passed away can help you come to terms with your loss too. This can look like a verbal conversation to yourself, a text or Facebook message, writing letters to them (which you can destroy or even send out to sea in a bottle or tie to a helium balloon and let go afterwards if that feels right to you.) You can communicate to them through whatever way you used to get in touch, or through what feels good to you at this time. When my brother died I used to ring his phone and leave answer phone messages, and then later used to write letters to put on his grave. I used to like telling him important things that were going on with me, and say how much I missed him. It didn’t change anything obviously, but it made me feel a little better and like there was still a dialogue between us. It helped me transition with my life from being completely distraught to accepting he was gone but would always be a part of me.

-Remember to eat and to drink lot’s of water. Rest and sleep as much as you need to and give yourself a break from partying if that’s the way you’re dealing right now. When you’re dealing with loss it can be so overwhelming emotionally that sometimes you forget what basic necessities your body needs to function. Making sure your health is good will mean that mentally you are able to process and deal with what’s going on. If you’re in shock, eating can be the last thing on your mind- but try and have something to keep your physical strength up. Having a few drinks, or having a bit of a blowout and a party is totally understandable, but make sure it doesn’t become a regular thing, and that you take a night off when you can to let yourself recover.

Resting and letting yourself sleep when you need to is so important. Dealing with heavy emotions can be massively draining so don’t feel guilty if you want to sleep more, or if you feel exhausted. These can be busy as well as emotionally draining times so make sure you’re not taking it out too much on your body by listening to it and stopping every now and again.

-Don’t disengage with the World around you. I know when I’ve dealt with death before I often just block everything out and fall into really negative patterns of not looking after myself. I’ve learnt that it’s good to still work, go to uni or school and do chores when you can. When you’re able to try and stick with your routine and see friends as much as possible. Having aspects of normality still around will ground you and stop you from blocking everything out and being consumed by your grief.

-When you want to and when the time is right, honour the person you’ve lost in your own way that is meaningful to you. This can be really personal and only for you- but will always be a strong reminder of the impact they had on your life as you move forward. We’ve written a couple of suggestions down based on things we’ve done in the past or that friends have done:

• Raising money for a cause they supported
• Putting on a gig or festival for them
• Making a memory box
• Getting a tattoo
• Making a playlist or mixtape
• Writing a book about them
• Volunteering for an organisation, charity or community interest company that helps others Creating a piece of artwork about them
• Living your life for them in a way they would have been proud of

But really- it’s up to you. However you want to express yourself and your relationship.

-Finally, don’t be hard on yourself. Everyone deals with bereavement differently and for different lengths of time. Don’t feel bad for feeling upset, don’t force yourself to be ok if you’re not, don’t be angry for still feeling upset if other people have moved on or if you feel like you can’t deal with it at all. Don’t feel guilty that you’re alive,or feel that you are to blame, this just spreads negative emotions and causes you more pain and doesn’t help.

These are all really common feelings, amongst thousand of others you’ll go through when dealing with someone passing away. They are natural and normal, even when you feel really weirded out, they will pass.How you deal with things is intensely personal to you. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be feeling these things and you are definitely not alone.

Speak to your friends and family about what you’re going through. Get some bereavement counselling if you feel it might help. Get people together affected by the death and talk about the person and how you’re all coping, write how you’re feeling down, meditate and take time every day to build your emotional resilience. Get upset. Laugh. Remember them. Live for them because they don’t have that honour anymore. But take it easy on yourself. No one is perfect, and losing someone is incredibly hard.

These are all just suggestions and things we think are useful. We understand there is no set way to deal with bereavement, but these things are a bit of common sense and we hope you’ll find them helpful. In time you will get some perspective and acceptance. You will begin to heal and build a life without this person, but a life that always carries them with you and is for them. We know what you’re going through and we want to tell you that you’re strong for even reading this. Breathe and keep going.

-Hannah