If you live near an ocean or a river, you could try writing down all your problems, frustrations, or fears on paper, and putting it in a bottle to throw into the water. Or you could try burning the paper instead (but be careful where you do this, and be sure to have supervision if you need it). Destroying a written version of your problems can be the first step in being ready to overcome them.
Though don’t do this too much – we don’t want to be polluting our oceans! Maybe try pop it in the recycling instead..!
This is the coping technique that helped Zoe – read her story.
A journal’s not just for writing about who you’ve got a crush on, or what you had for lunch today. Taking the time to stop and write down everything that’s happened in your day can be a good way to work through everything that’s happened and get it out on paper. Seeing everything in front of you can help you make sense of what’s happened to you and understand what to do about it.
Try keeping a record of every time you feel the urge to self-harm. Take a note of the sort of things that happened, like who you spoke to, what you were doing and how you felt. Then look for a pattern. Is there a particular person who winds you up to the point of self-harming? Maybe there’s a specific place that makes it worse? Is it always the same time of day?
Once you know what it is that’s triggering you to self-harm, you can start to do something about it. Maybe it’s avoiding a certain person or place, or making sure you’re not on your own at a particularly hard time of day.
You also might find our Self-Care Spectrum helpful. It’s a way to spot which areas of your life might be causing a problem.
It sounds really simple, but you can write a list of:
- Everything that’s good in your life
- Everything that’s bad in your life
- Everything you want to change
- Everything you’re going to try and make that change happen.
Be realistic – accept that there are some things you can’t change. But be determined – if something’s bothering you, do something about it!
Or it could be that you just write a good ole to-do list! Write out everything you need to get done today. Cross each item off and celebrate when you get it done!
It’s an incredibly British thing to suggest, but having a warm drink can help to soothe and comfort you if you’re feeling worked up and stressed out. Taking the time to stop and let the kettle boil, and the tea bag brew is a good way to stop and give yourself a minute to breathe if you’re feeling out of control.
Sharing a cuppa with someone else is a great way to start a conversation as well – talking over tea can sometimes be easier than just talking out of the blue.
*It doesn’t have to be tea, if you prefer coffee or even hot squash (if you’ve never tried it, you’re missing out).
A few people have told us that they just love their bed, and feeling cosy wrapped up in a duvet or a blanket on a soft mattress can feel really soothing. Especially great if you’re feeling all tense and stressed out at the moment.
If you’re feeling sad or scared, then you might find that doing something soothing like taking a warm bath can help to make you feel better. It might sound weird, but when you lay in the bath tub, try to imagine all of your worries and negative thoughts floating away off of you.
Taking the time to fully relax in the bath can be a good way to get yourself away from a bad situation, sooth yourself and calm down. It’s also a good chance to put yourself first – which is super important to do from time to time.
When you’re stuck thinking negatively about yourself, it’s easy to miss out on all the good stuff you do, and the positive things you’ve achieved. It’s not arrogant or big headed to think nice things about yourself.
Just being here, and reading this is a really big, important step, and you should be well proud of yourself for even looking at positive alternatives to self-harm.
Try making a list of things you’ve been proud of in the past – maybe something you achieved in school, or a time when you’ve really been good at something. It might not necessarily be such obvious things. You probably make people’s lives better just by being around. If you find it hard to think of or say nice things about yourself, you could try asking a friend what they think you do well.
And when you do something good: reward yourself! Buy that new pair of trainers you want! Play that video game for an extra 20 minutes! Go for a nice meal! You’ve done well, so you deserve it.
Simply getting up and away from your current situation can help to clear your head, as well as physically putting space between you and what might be causing you to self-harm.
You could just go for a walk on your own, or even a run if you’re feeling particularly worked up. If you usually listen to music while you walk around, maybe try it without music. Do something you wouldn’t usually do.
Or you could go to visit someone else, and be around different people. Just getting a change of scenery might help to get you out of negative thought cycles.
Read Leanne’s story, where going out for a walk helped clear her mind, and get away from a negative situation.
This is something you can only really do if you’re at home, but it’s something you can really easily do. If you’re self-harming because you feel numb or disconnected, then taking a cold shower can help to ‘wake you up’, and make you feel something.
