What is Self-Care, Really?

“Self-care” is something that gets thrown around a lot. From NHS advice to Primark t-shirts. But that means it can get a bit diluted. So let’s unpack it: what does self-care ✨actually mean?✨ Spoiler: It’s not all bubble baths and candles (though those are great too). Here’s 3 things that self-care IS and 3 things that self-care is NOT:

Self-Care IS:

1. It’s About the Basics

At its core, self-care means taking care of your basic needs: eating well, sleeping enough, and staying hydrated. It’s about making sure you’ve got the foundation to keep going. (check out Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ if you wanna dig into that a bit more!) When you’re tired, hungry, or dehydrated, it’s harder to tackle life’s challenges.

So what can you do? Make sure your most basic human needs are being met! Drink some water, get some sleep, eat a healthy diet, and keep yourself warm (shout out to pulling your duvet onto the sofa).

2. It’s Individual

It’s all about finding what’s right for YOU. What works for someone else might not work for you. And that’s okay. So don’t worry about trying to make your self-care look like anyone else’s. For some people, it’s gonna be more externally obvious things. For others, it’s gonna be those small, basic needs like we said above. There’s no “right” way to do self-care. Experiment with different activities to find what helps you feel your best. Whether it’s exercise, creative projects, or quiet time, find your unique self-care formula.

So what can you do? Head to our Things to Try page and find some ideas of things that might help you keep your head above the waves. But whatever thing you settle on trying, the key bit is to do it mindfully. Anything can be a self-care activity if you tell yourself that you’re doing it to be kind to your mind, not just going through the motions.

3. It’s Restorative

Self-care is about recharging your batteries so you can keep going. It’s taking the time to do what fills you up, whether that’s a quiet moment with a book, a long bath, or even just sitting in silence. It’s about giving yourself permission to rest and refuel, so you have the energy to take on whatever life throws at you. Taking time for yourself isn’t just okay; it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make sure you’re filling yours first. When you care for yourself, you’re better equipped to care for others too.

So what can you do? Set some healthy boundaries. Set aside some time to focus on you. Let folks know that you’re gonna be offline for a while, so you can put your own needs first.

Self-Care Is NOT:

1. It’s Not Always Pretty

Self-care doesn’t have to be pretty. It’s not about doing stuff that’s aesthetically pleasing. Some versions *can* be pretty. If a nice bath bomb and a face mask helps you unwind and fills your cup back up, then that’s great. But if it is just meeting those basic human needs, or maybe even just making sure you get out of bed and have a shower in the day, that’s valid too. It’s about looking after yourself so you can deal with what life throws at you. Not about how it looks.

2. It’s Not Selfish

I feel like this is a line I’ve seen a lot, but it’s something that’s worth reminding yourself of. If you’re anything like me, it’s easy to equate your worth to how productive you’re being. Taking time to look after yourself, and keep yourself running instead of working isn’t a bad thing. Putting your needs above someone else’s for a little while isn’t the worst thing in the world. You’re allowed to prioritise your own wellbeing. Sometimes self-care involves making hard choices, like setting boundaries or having tough conversations, in order to prioritise your wellbeing. It’s not always easy, but it’s absolutely worth it.

3. It’s Not The Full Picture for a Wellbeing Journey

Of course we need to be doing things to look after ourselves and our wellbeing. And the small acts of self-care, whatever they are for you, are super important. But it’s only a piece of the puzzle. Your wellbeing, and staying mentally healthy is about so much more. It’s about forming good relationships with others. It’s about speaking up when you’re struggling. And it’s about being mindful and present. Heck, I’ve probably missed off some other bits off of that list that make up the full picture of a wellbeing journey. And yours might look different to mine. But that’s ok. Take this journey one step at a time.

A Final Thought:

Self-care is about doing what you need to keep yourself feeling okay (or as okay as you can be). Start small, and remember: you’re absolutely worth the effort. Give yourself permission to prioritise your well-being, one step at a time.

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