If life is becoming hard to deal with, you might find it helpful to start writing creatively. Coming up with stories about other people could be a good way to escape from your own reality for a while. It could even be that writing about yourself in third person is an easier way to work through things than just writing down how you’re feeling.
If you really want to challenge yourself, you could write it out with pen and paper rather than typing it out on a computer!
There are loads of organisations out there that offer support for whatever issues you might be facing. Find a few that you like the look of and give them a try. If one doesn’t work out for you, then don’t give up! Just move on to the next one.
We’ve put together a big list of places that you can go to for help, but it’s important to remember that you’ve got to be ready to want help and change.
If you’re looking for support in your local area, check out Hub of Hope.
It might also be helpful to give yourself an action plan of who you’re going to talk to next time you feel down.
Drawing on yourself could be as simple as drawing red lines on the area where you’re tempted to self-harm. This way you can still see a red mark where you would have otherwise self-harmed.
Or you could get more creative and actually draw and doodle all over yourself as a distraction, to keep your hands and mind busy instead of self-harming.
There are even a couple of cool projects around drawing on yourself. Check out Project Semi Colon & The Butterfly Project.
If you’re drawing on yourself, make sure you use non-toxic pens.
A few people have told us that they keep a box of things that make them happy, and look in it whenever they’re feeling low. You may not always be able to be positive, but you can choose to focus on positive things that have happened to you.
Your box can be something awesome like a fancy wooden box, or something simple like an old shoe box. If you go for a shoe box, you can decorate it how you want as well – cover it with positive messages to yourself, or images of stuff that makes you happy.
Then fill your box with things that make you happy. It could be:
But your box is unique to you – fill it with anything that makes you happy or reminds you of something positive you’ve got.
By watching TV or a movie that always makes you laugh, you can take your mind off of your situation. In fact, sometimes smiling and laughing can make you feel better overall. Scientists have actually proven that when you smile, your brain releases happy chemicals that make you feel happy, so spending a while watching something that makes you smile can sort of trick your brain into being happy.
Our go-to watching material is Adventure Time, but it’s different for everyone.
Read Steve’s story, where he talks about watching ‘Who’s Line Is It Anyway?’ as a distraction.
Give yourself some structure – figure out what you’re doing with each day of your week. Prioritise what has to be done immediately, and what can be done later on. Make sure you factor in some time for yourself every day. It’s important to do something you enjoy and that makes you happy.
Knowing what you’re doing with your time can help you feel more in control of what’s going on in your life, as well as highlighting specific things that could be stressing you out.
Do it in your own way. Maybe that’s getting a calendar, or an app on your phone, or even just writing down a daily list.
Even people who don’t struggle with self-harm have told us that planning something good to look forward to keeps them going when life gets too much. If you book yourself a holiday, or arrange to see an old friend next week, or even just plan to have a nice relaxing bath when you get home tonight, you can keep reminding yourself of what you’ve got to look forward to.
This can help distract you from the bad situation you’re in right now, but it can also be the thing that’s worth keeping on going for. Plan something that makes you happy, and then when the time comes, make the most of it! Lose yourself in that moment until it’s over, and then plan the next thing to look forward to.
If you feel like everything’s out of your control, you can start to take control of certain areas of your life. Set yourself goals of where you want to be in 5 years time. Then what are you going to do to get there? What would you like to be doing this time next week? And what do you need to do to make that happen?
These could be physical goals, like losing a few pounds by working out and eating right, or mental goals, like letting yourself be angry for 10 minutes rather than beating yourself up. .
Be realistic with your goals, and how much you can/can’t change, and try to be specific/measurable – make it something you can see when you’ve achieved it, and whether you’re on track.
Stick your goals up on your wall, or somewhere you can look at them every day and check on your progress every day. It can be hugely rewarding to look back on how much you’ve achieved.
But here’s the important bit: don’t beat yourself up if you don’t achieve your goals when you wanted to. Just try again and give yourself smaller steps this time.
Sometimes you just need an immediate distraction from the urge to self-harm. And that could be pretty much anything. It could be as boring as doing some homework, or it could be something creative like drawing a repetitive pattern, it could even be something simple like singing and dancing along to your favourite song. Anything to keep your mind and hands busy for now.
You could try setting yourself a goal of not self-harming for 5 minutes, or until you’ve finished a level on a game, or until you’ve listened to a whole album. You might even find that by the time you’ve finished that level or reached the last song, you’re distracted by what you’ve been doing, and don’t want to self-harm any more.
