We’ve all been sorry, we’ve all been hurt. But how we survive is what makes us who we are. – Rise Against

The journey to getting Heads Above The Waves from an idea to a reality hasn’t been an easy one. There’ve been days when all I’ve wanted to do is give up, put my head down and shuffle along with everyone else, in a dead end job and not care. Well, today I’m making the huge leap of leaving my day job and try to make Heads Above The Waves something that I work on full time.

See, today I got to thinking. It’s the challenges we go through daily that end up shaping who we become. Whenever you come up against a problem, you essentially have two choices:

1. You let it get the better of you, and you stay in the same position, with no progress.
2. You take it in your stride, think of it as a learning experience, and make yourself better as a result of your difficulties.

Rise Against’s song ‘Survive’ points out “Life for you has been less than kind, so take a number stand in line, we’ve all been sorry, we’ve all been hurt. But how we survive is what makes us who we are.” And to me, I find that encouraging. Firstly, that there’s other people who’ve been through the same, if not worse, than me. Everyone, at some point, has felt some degree of hurt, and that’s okay. To not be perfect is to be human, to be alive. I guess the weird part is that you’ve got to be sad sometimes to know what it is to be happy, the same as without night, we wouldn’t have day.

Secondly, I find these words encouraging, because “how we survive is what makes us who we are.” It was music that I used to survive when I was self-harming, and it’s music that’s made me who I am today. Playing in bands and going to gigs is how I’ve met some of my closest friends, and how I’ve had some of the best experiences of my life, I studied Music Technology at university. Music literally defines me, as you may notice from the number of lyrics/songs I find and draw inspiration from. So whatever you find yourself doing to beat self-harm could actually take your life in directions you never thought possible. Even resulting in starting up a non-profit to help out other people.

I’ve actually got every word to this song written on my desk in my parents’ house. The moment I heard this song, it just resonated with me. At the risk of sounding like a big ole cliche, I think hearing Tim McIlrath saying “Life for you has been less than kind”, and describing the listener’s life as being “Somewhere between happy, and a total f—ing wreck” felt like he was actually saying it to me, and understanding the problems I was going through. So I keep those lyrics there as a reminder that I’m never alone in what I’m going through, and thatI’ve gotta just keep on surviving.

But there’s a difference between living and surviving. Sometimes all you can do is to survive; clinging on to whatever it takes to stay strong, and not get beaten down by life. But I urge you to go that extra mile and live. For me, I found music helped me cope, but more than that, I enjoy playing music. Rather than just using music to survive, it helped me feel alive, and I hope you find what it is that works for you.

Finally, remember that, if nothing else, then your experiences have made you stronger. Because if you’re reading this, then you’ve survived what’s been thrown your way so far. I don’t know exactly what you’ve been through, but you’ve survived so far, and you can keep on surviving what’s coming next. With me, I had a pretty tough time at school, and I turned to self-harm, it felt like it wasn’t going to end, and how could it possibly be a good thing? But now, I’m stronger, I’m using those experiences to help out other people, and using the music I discovered and used to survive, to try and help others to survive too.

So again I urge you, no, I DARE you to go beyond surviving and enjoy living. Right here, right now, you’re alive, and everything that you’ve been through, everything you’ve survived, could go on to make a huge difference to something just around the corner. It’s kinda exciting when you think of it like that, ain’t it?

– Si