I’ll start this by pointing out how much I’ve struggled with this myself for years. If I’m being totally honest, I still worry about it, but I’m getting better. I guess what I’m saying is: we’re on this journey to get better together. With that in mind:

Stop worrying about what other people think of you.

Visit the places you want to go. Don’t avoid doing something you want to do just because you think someone’s going to judge you.

Wear the clothes you like. Do your hair the way you want it. Your appearance is something you can control – so keep control of it! Change it if you want to, but do it because YOU want to, not for anyone else.

Ask the questions you want to ask – don’t keep quiet cuz you don’t want to seem stupid. Some of the best conversations I’ve had have been because I’ve asked questions that might seem really obvious to some.

The truth is: everyone has an opinion, and you’re never going to please everyone. But y’know what? That doesn’t matter. You keep doing you. Stay true to yourself, and you’ll attract people into your life who appreciate you for who you are. That’s way better than trying to impress someone by being something you’re not.

Here’s another truth bomb: you’re your own hardest critic. You pick out flaws in yourself that others don’t necessarily see. And it’s important to remember that more often than not, you’re the only one telling yourself all the things that are wrong with you.

You can get so caught up in picking out all your own flaws that you convince yourself that’s what other people see in you. But actually, you’re comparing yourself to others, while others are comparing themselves to you. You might wish your hair was longer like hers. But she might wish her hair was shorter like yours. You might wish you were as stacked as that dude. But he might wish he could talk to strangers the way you can.

You can slowly start to ignore the critic in your mind by giving yourself small, yet regular, compliments. Maybe your eyebrows are particularly on fleek today. Maybe your outfit is really slaying. Maybe you’re a good friend. Maybe you did something nice for a stranger. Try to make it a daily habit to remind yourself what a total badass you actually are. If you say it enough you start to believe it. If you believe it enough you start to become it. So make sure you’re saying good things to yourself.

A lot of people you pass by on the street, you’re never going to see again. They’re just an extra in the movie that is your life – and you’re an extra in theirs. They’re often more caught up in their own individual lives than spending time judging you for doing your own thing. If life is a movie, you’re the star – you may as well give it an Oscar winning performance by being yourself, and going your own way. Because no-one can play your part the way that you can.

Be confident in the choices you make. Stand by them. If it doesn’t go quite the way you planned, you’ve had the experience, and you’ve learned from it. Society would never move forward if people didn’t make mistakes and learn from them – so don’t be afraid to try the things you want to try. Especially not because you’re worried about what other people will think of you for it.

It’s so much easier said than done, but it’s so freeing to stop letting other people’s opinions get to you. It means you can live the life you want to lead, rather than constantly living it for other people. It’s not selfish – it’s healthy.