Struggling Right Now? Read This.

If you’ve landed on this post, it probably means you’re going through something tough. Maybe you feel alone. Maybe you feel like no one really gets what you’re dealing with. Maybe you don’t even know how to put it into words. You just know it’s exhausting, nothing seems to help, and it sucks.

And if self-harm has become part of how you’re coping, I want to start by saying this: you’re not broken. You’re not a bad person. And you’re not alone in this.

I know it might not feel like it right now, but there are other ways to deal with all the things you’re feeling. You can find ways to cope that don’t leave you feeling worse after. So let’s take a minute to talk about why you might be feeling like this—and what might help.

“I don’t even know how to explain what I’m feeling.”

Sometimes emotions feel too big to put into words. Anger, sadness, frustration, loneliness; it all blends together into one overwhelming mess. And when you don’t know how to name it, it’s hard to know what to do with it.

If you feel this way, something that might help is:

Try to name what’s going on, even if it’s messy. Write down anything that comes to mind—single words, random thoughts, even just “argghhh.” Getting it out of your head and onto paper (or your phone notes, but it’s way better if you can use pen & paper) can help make it feel more manageable.

If writing’s not your thing, try expressing it in another way—drawing, playing music, or even sending a voice note to yourself. The goal isn’t to make it perfect or pretty; it’s just to start figuring out what’s going on inside in a way that feels right for you.

This is gonna be helpful in a couple of ways: 1) helping you figure out what’s going on in your own head. In which case, this exercise is purely for you. Or 2) this could be the first step in sharing how you’re feeling with someone else, and finding some support.

“I feel like no one cares, so what’s the point?”

When you’re struggling, it can feel like you’re completely alone in it. Like no one would notice if you weren’t around, or no one would care if you reached out. And little voice telling you to feel that way? Sorry to break it to ya. It’s a big fat liar. Your brain can convince you that you don’t matter, but that doesn’t make it true.

If you feel this way, something that might help is…

Even though it’s so hard, try reaching out to someone. I know, speaking to someone can feel scary. But it doesn’t have to be a deep, emotional chat. It could just be sending a meme to a mate, replying to a message, or even commenting on a post. It’s about doing the little things to help keep connections with others going. And those small connections remind you that you’re not invisible, while helping to build a strong network of folks around you.

And if talking to someone in your life feels impossible, there are anonymous helplines and online spaces where people do care and do want to listen. You don’t have to do this alone. And if you needed a reminder that it’s okay to call a helpline, watch this video!

“I just don’t want to feel this way anymore”

Self-harm often comes from a place of needing to feel something different, or managing how you’re currently feeling. That could be to let out what’s building up inside, or to have control over something when everything else feels chaotic. (But self-harm also a complicated thing that’s unique to everyone who experiences it!). If that sounds familiar, I hear you. I’ve been there. But hurting yourself isn’t the only way to get that relief.

So if you feel this way, something that might help is…

Try switching to something that gives you that release without causing harm. The first step is figuring out what purpose self-harm might be serving you. Is it a release? Is it a way to feel… something? Is it a way of expressing the pain you’re feeling inside? Face it head on, and try to identify what self-harm is really doing for you. Spoiler alert: it might not be super easy to identify.

Once you know what purpose self-harm is serving, that’s when you can start to find things that can serve that same purpose. If only there were some sort of sweet database of a bunch of ideas that have helped people in the past.. OH WAIT. That’s exactly what our ‘Things To Try’ page is!

t might not feel the same at first, and that’s okay. But over time, finding different ways to cope and deal with the emotions you’re feeling is gonna be a game changer.

A Final Thought:

If you’ve been struggling with self-harm, please know that it doesn’t have to be like this forever. You absolutely deserve support, and there are people who genuinely want to help you through this. There are other people who’ve gone through similar things to you and come out the other side. That’ literally what HATW is. We’re folks who’ve been through it (and still struggle; let’s be real!) but have found different ways to deal with it.

Even if it feels impossible right now, hold on to this: you are not alone. You are not beyond help. And you deserve kindness; including from yourself.

And if today is a tough day, please check out some of the resources we’ve got here on the website. There are people out there who get it, and you don’t have to figure this out alone. 💙

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