Learning To Live / Learning To Skate

When I was about 7 years old, I got a skateboard, and I always dreamed of being one of those cool dudes who cruises past, or effortlessly nails tricks in skateparks. And here I am at 24, still wishing I was able to do all that.

This month, we’re looking at sports like skateboarding, and what an impact they can have on your mental wellbeing. There are a whole bunch of stories about how skateboarding has helped people, and it might just be the thing that can help you out if you’re in a bad place right now.

There are some lessons that I’ve picked up from skating (albeit badly) over the years.

My relationship with skateboarding has been very on and off since I got that first deck all those years ago. One of the first lessons I learned about skateboarding is that it doesn’t come easy or straight away. It takes a lot of time practising. It took me weeks of slowly and awkwardly rolling up and down my street before I could even think about having two feet on the board and getting any sort of speed up.

When I turned 10 I retired the skateboard, and didn’t really skate again until 17, by which time I’d forgotten how to even stand on the board, and then another few years off of it meant that when I tried again at 22, I had to start from square one again. But every time I started again, I had to be determined that I wanted to get better at skating and put in the time and effort to get to where I want to be.

You can draw a parallel with a struggle with self-harm. If you want to get better, and leave it behind, it’s going to take time and practise. It might take you a long time, and you might have to start from the very beginning if you lapse. But if you stay determined on where you want to be, you can and you will get there.

Don’t be afraid to fail. I think this is the thing that worries me most about life in general, but in particular with skating. Worrying that I’m going to fall off, or just not be able to do it. But skating, the same as with life, is easier when you believe that you can do it, however cheesy that might sound. Positive Mental Attitude goes a long way. Keep reminding yourself that you can get better.

I started skating to and from work in the summer, and fell off a whole bunch at first, which probably actually hurt my ego more than my butt. But over time, I got used to knowing when I was going to fall, and catching myself – jumping off or running off, rather than landing on my ass. At first, getting into a negative headspace and self-harming can be really hard to get out of. But once you start to realise what it is that gets you down, you can react more positively, by doing something else instead of falling down and self-harming.
It’s about you.

So many times when I was a kid, I went to skateparks and saw all the older, cooler kids skating around so effortlessly. And that really put me off going in and having a go – because I was afraid I wasn’t as good as them. But you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people. The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself. So many skateboarders will tell you that they don’t do it for anyone other than themselves. It’s time for just you and your board. And that’s the time to forget about whatever else is bothering you, clear your head and concentrate on one thing. And that’s a great way to get through tough times – concentrate all your efforts onto something more positive, and distract yourself from the negatives.

Pick yourself up and try again.

The truth is: you will fall off that skateboard. More than once. And it’s going to hurt. But the only way that you’ll move forward and get better at skating is if you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Think about it in terms of when you were a baby and learning to walk – you fell over so many times, but you kept on getting up and trying again until you nailed it, and now look at you. So if something bad happens to you, or you relapse into self-harming, apply the same logic. Don’t let it stop you, get yourself back together, and keep on trying. It might take a long time, but at some point, you’ll look back and be able to see just how far you’ve come.

Try new things.

The best way to discover new tricks when skating is to just keep on trying different things out – no matter how silly they might look at first, or how long it takes, or how many things go wrong before you find the right combination of things that work.

And that’s how you can get past self-harm. By keeping on trying out new things, different coping techniques, speaking to different people, until you find what works for you and what helps you. It might even be skating.

– Si