To all of you who keep us going

An open letter from all of us still struggling, to all of you who keep us going. Basically: thank you.

If it wasn’t for you guys answering those late night phone calls or those panicky texts, if it wasn’t for you guys sensing when we’re not good even though we say we’re ok, if it wasn’t for the hug when we’re crying or the random hang out or kind gesture, if it wasn’t for the hours and hours we spill our hearts to you whilst you patiently listen, we’d be pretty lost. Your support, open mindedness, compassion and advice is what keeps us going and picks us up when we’re at our lowest. You’re the best!

We open up to you because we trust you. We know you’re not going to talk behind our backs or make fun of us. We know you’re only going to speak to others when you have to, to protect us and get us the help we can’t ask for. You’re a good person and you make us feel comfortable. We think highly of you, and feel like you’ll be able to give us the best support that we need, or can help us get that outside help that can be really scary to ask for. So thank you for never judging us or shouting at us when we’re worked up. Thanks for not freaking out when we talk about our issues. It really helps to know when we speak to you that you’re going to stay calm and put our best interests first.

Thanks for being honest with us too and telling it like it is. Yes, sometimes we do just need that hug and some comfort. But when you convince us to speak to a counsellor or a parent or teacher and get some help, even though we can’t always see it straight away­ that really helps us get on the path of recovery. When you talk to us about harm reduction and help us come up with positive coping techniques­ we know this is good stuff that will stick with us.

We also wanted to say: it’s ok to say no. We can get really in our own heads sometimes and not take into account what you’ve got going on or what you’re going through. We may not even think about how it will affect you when you’re supporting us, and it can get pretty hard to keep being there for us. Sometimes you just may not have the time or energy to be at our beck and call. We might not like this, and we may even throw a bit of a strop from time to time. But when we stop and think about it we understand that you have your own stuff going on and it’s not always about us. Just let us know that it’s not a good time right now, but that it doesn’t mean that you don’t care.

Please look after yourself too. You mean a lot to us and we don’t get to say how grateful we are for you enough. We know you’re not always going to have all the answers, but just the fact that you try means the World. Take time for you­ and maybe give the apps you suggest to us a whirl, or the helpline numbers a call­ support is universal and it’s good for you to have someone to offload onto, or to seek advice/ reassurance from. It’s not selfish or weak. Life isn’t a competition­ but it is hard. Supporting someone can be consuming and we don’t want to affect you negatively. Feel free to talk to us too. You do so much for us, it would be nice to be able to reciprocate and give you guys a hug when you need one too!

Finally, don’t give up on us. We’re getting there, and with your support we know better days will come along. Keep being you; you’re stronger than you know because you’re giving us the strength to keep going.