I can buy *myself* flowers?

It wasn’t very long ago that I would have cringed at the idea of buying myself a bouquet of flowers; it would have seemed like a massive indulgence and hugely uncalled for. Flowers, to me, were something you bought your crush on Valentine’s Day, your mum on her birthday, or your best-friend when they broke up with their boyfriend. It just wasn’t something I would have felt I deserved, despite being more than happy to drop some £££ on someone else for little or no reason other than loving them.

Unless you have been living under a rock in the middle of the Nairobi desert, you will know that in the past few weeks Miley Cyrus’ new single, ‘Flowers’, has taken the world by storm. It’s a warm, poppy, upbeat break-up song about loving yourself (no bitterness here), and to be quite honest, I can’t get enough of it. I really wouldn’t be surprised if most of its 100million+ streams have come directly from my very own Spotify. Part of its appeal is the mellow, funky vibe it carries along with notes of Californian sunshine and sticky 1970s dance floors but its main draw for me is the lyrics. Miley sings:

“I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand 
Talk to myself for hours 
Say things you don’t understand 
I can take myself dancing 
And I can hold my own hand 
Yeah, I can love me better than you can”

Put aside the rumours that Miley wrote this song as a direct response to Bruno Mars’s 2012 hit “When I Was Your Man” and you get an anthem devoted to looking after Number One (that’s YOU!).

Know yourself!

Because what Miley is promoting is more than just buying yourself flowers. It’s about realising that nobody knows you better than you know yourself, and that is a wonderful thing. You know just how you like your tea, the best volume settings on the TV, the optimum temperature of bathwater to soothe you after a long day. It’s not groundbreaking stuff, when you think about it, but sometimes it’s difficult to appreciate those things about yourself when you’re struggling with your mental health.

You see, the issue is that self-love and our ability to practise it is linked to our level of self-esteem. If we don’t value ourselves highly, then we’re never going to think we deserve the kindness we might automatically show others. The great thing about the song, and the message that Miley is telling us, is the true secret to self-love (write this down, it’s important!): you don’t need to earn self-love. You are worthy of it, just by virtue of being human. 

Be kind to yourself!

The point is that you don’t need anyone else to do those things for you; Miley isn’t saying it’s not nice to have flowers bought for you, but she is saying that your ability to be kind to yourself is a powerful thing. You don’t need to “earn” rewards or self-love; your wellbeing isn’t a capitalist economy. Acknowledging this and harnessing the positive vibes that the “buy yourself flowers” ethos manifests can only bring you good things – because the truth is, the more love you show yourself, the more love you’ll feel. It’s WIN/WIN.

Love yourself!

Here’s some other ways to show yourself self-love, not officially Miley approved, but we think she’d be in support of you trying them out: 

• Wear your favourite outfit. When we feel like we look good, we feel good! Put on your fancy clothes and strut your stuff – or that super-soft hoodie that you love to snuggle up in? That counts too.
• Light the nice candles. We know you’ve been saving that posh scented candle for a “special occasion”, but sometimes loving yourself is the special occasion. Lie back and enjoy the luxury – you deserve it because you’re YOU. The same goes for eating those fancy chocolate biscuits your nan got you for Christmas – stop saving them for guests and chow down on them yourself.

• “Hold your own hand”. It sounds a bit weird, but imagining that you are your own friend can actually work wonders for your self-esteem. When negative self-talk creeps in, ask yourself “would I speak to my best friend this way?”, and if the answer is no, try and address yourself in a more caring way. 
• Travel. It can be scary imagining going somewhere alone, but if you want to visit an art gallery, a new city, or a whole different country, and none of your friends are up for it, go on your own! You can spend as long as you want looking at what interests you and never have to worry about whether anyone else is bored, tired or hungry. Perfect!
• Love yourself in whatever way you want to be loved. Knowing what brings you happiness is empowering; nobody knows you the way you do. If you’ve never heard of “Love Languages”, take the time to research them and find out what yours is! Then you can tailor-make your self-love to your specific needs.

But what about you? Have you got something that helps you show yourself some love? We’d love to hear about it! Drop a comment below 👇 or slide into our DMs on Instagram.

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