How to Challenge Your Inner Critic

We all have that little voice in our heads. You know the one—the one that says you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. That’s your inner critic, and it can be brutal sometimes. But here’s the thing: we’d never talk to our pals the way we talk to ourselves. So why do we let that voice talk to us like that? It’s time to take control & put that pesky critic in its place. Here’s how:

1. Recognise When Your Inner Critic Is Speaking

Half the battle is noticing when your inner critic is running its mouth. It loves to exaggerate, saying things like, “You always mess up” or “You’ll never get this right.”. Catch it in the act and label it for what it is: unhelpful noise. Sometimes just saying: “Oh, that’s my inner critic chatting nonsense again” can give you some distance from those thoughts. And that separation from what’s *you*, and what’s your inner critic can help you to not take it so personally.

It might sound kinda odd, but it might help to literally say it out loud. “That’s my inner critic talking”. It could be the thing that makes it easier to stop your critic in its tracks.

2. Call Your Inner Critic Out

Your inner critic thrives on being taken seriously, so let’s stop giving it that power. When it says: “You’re terrible at this”, challenge it! Say right back: “Really? Based on what evidence?” Most of the time, you’ll find that there’s nothing solid backing up those negative thoughts. This is a good tip in general too. I find myself worrying all the time that everyone hates me. But that challenge of: “what evidence do I have of that?” helps convince me that things aren’t always as bad as I make myself believe sometimes.

If you want a bonus tip: give your inner critic a ridiculous name. Maybe it’s “Gordon the Grump” or “Negative Nigel.” Mine’s just called Jerry. Next time it pipes up, you can roll your eyes and say, “Alright, Jerry, take a seat, lad.”. It helps to take the sting out of it a bit.

3. Talk to Yourself Like You’d Talk to a Friend

Imagine your best mate came to you and said, “I’m so useless, I can’t do anything right.” You wouldn’t be like, “Yeah, mate, you’re awful.” You’d remind them of all the times they’ve done great things, right? You’d big them up, and let them know all the reasons you love them. So try turning that kindness inward. Instead of “I’m rubbish at this,” try “I’m just learning. It’s okay to not be perfect straight away.”

4. Focus on What’s Going Right

Your inner critic LOVES to highlight what’s wrong. So let’s turn that on its head. What’s something you’re proud of? What’s one small win from today? Even if it’s “I got out of bed even though I didn’t want to,” that counts. Little wins add up, and focusing on them can quiet that nagging voice in your head.

Pro tip: I like to write lists, so I have tangible things on a page in front of me of stuff that I’m proud of (or stuff that I just like about myself). It could even just be in the notes app on your phone, so you can pull it up whenever you need to tip the scales with the inner critic. (Take a look at THIS, Jerrrryyyyyy). This was part of one of the mental health tips from tour that I shared from North America.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

This might feel weird at first, especially if you’re used to being hard on yourself. But self-compassion is a game-changer. When you mess up, instead of beating yourself up, try saying to yourself: “It’s okay to make mistakes. I’m human, I’m learning, and that’s how growth works.”. It kinda relates back to talking to yourself like you would a friend. You’d show someone else compassion as they’re learning, so extend that compassion & understanding to yourself too.

If being kind to yourself feels tricky (hello, years of self-doubt), start small. Write down one thing you like about yourself every day. Even if it’s “I make a cracking cup of tea.”. Give yourself permission to like yourself, and be proud of what you’ve achieved. Over time, this can help shift your mindset, and give you some ammo to come back at that inner critic with.

A Final Thought:

Your inner critic doesn’t have to be in charge. The more you challenge it, the quieter it gets. So next time it starts mouthing off, hit it with a “Nice try, Jerry.” and fall back on all the evidence that you have to show that you’re a legend, and you have people around you who are on your side.

If You Found This Helpful: 

Our merch with a message is designed to help remind you to show yourself some compassion, and help keep your head above the waves. Plus, every purchase helps us create more resources to support young people’s mental health. What’s not to love! Here’s a couple of our top picks below: