Find Your Soundtrack

I still believe that everyone can find a song for every time they’ve lost and every time they’ve won.– Frank Turner

If there’s one thing that I’ve found in the last year or so of doing Heads Above The Waves, it’s that music plays such an important part in so many peoples’ lives, and happiness in general.

We’ve gone to all sorts of events and asked people what they do to keep their heads above the waves when they’re having bad days, and music keeps coming up. And the sort of music people listen to when they’re down has included everything from Country & Western to Pop-Punk, from Classical orchestral greats to the depths of Metalcore. And how cool is that?! There’s a kind of music to suit every mood and situation you go through, whoever you are in the world.

Music, songs, and lyrics have been around for thousands of years, and to me, that speaks volumes about the intrinsic connection between humanity and music. I love that it doesn’t matter who you are, or what SORT of music you listen to; there’s always going to be some sort of music to soundtrack your life.

Sometimes you need to be a little melodramatic I think. I’ve written before about the importance of letting yourself be bummed out for a bit. We can always relate to sad songs (especially ones about breakups – it’s what’s keeping Taylor Swift in business), and it’s important to understand that relating to sad or angry music has its place. It’s about the human connection – the knowledge that there’s someone else out there who’s felt as crummy and low as you do, but that they’ve worked through it, and they’ve written a song to share it.

Recently, an article from The Daily Mail has surfaced about a teenager taking his own life, after listening to “death metal”. I won’t turn this post into a rant against the Daily Mail, or try to defend death metal as such. But I think it’s telling that it was the fans of heavy music who were sharing and getting angry about the article on my Facebook feed. They all made the same point that the music was something that probably actually helped him. That’s purely speculation, of course, but it raises the interesting point, that aggressive music can help people, as much as happier music can. The knowledge that you’re not alone in the way that you feel- even if it’s by relating with someone else through a speaker – is a hugely powerful thing. As a society, we consider ourselves pretty well kept together. Particularly in Britain, I think we struggle with this “stiff upper lip” culture, which limits us expressing sadness or anger. The problem is, by keeping a stiff upper lip, and “keeping face” we bottle up what it is to be human, and don’t work through those negative feelings in a good way.

Personally, I think that’s something that we need to change, and that’s what Heads Above The Waves is doing; letting you know, it’s ok to not be ok. So actually, losing yourself in music, while someone else expresses their anger/sadness, is almost a first step towards letting yourself feel those emotions without necessarily showing it.

And that works the other way as well. Sharing in the experience of someone else being positive can help to put you into a more positive head space, and bring you round to feeling better about your situation. I know some people who will listen to silly stuff like the Spice Girls, in order to cheer themselves up. As dumb as it might sound, actually just letting go, and dancing around your room with a hairbrush microphone might be the thing that snaps you out of a negative thought cycle.

The thing is, it’s not about making yourself be happy. It’s about understanding what certain music is going to do to your mood, and whether that’s going to be helpful or harmful to you.

I’ve got myself a playlist of songs that I know I can listen to whenever I’m down, and it puts me into a much better headspace. Whenever you’re in a good mood, I’d suggest adding a couple of songs to a playlist of your own, to remind you of that mood, that feeling. And whenever things aren’t going so well, you can listen to it, and you’ll actually find yourself coming round to a better state of mind.

The best part is: no two people have exactly the same soundtracks to their lives. Different music affects different people in different ways. For some of you reading this, music is absolutely everything, and that’s awesome. Throw yourself into it, and make it work for you. For some of you, music is just a background thing, but it’s still around, and still has the power to affect the way you feel.

Whether it’s empathising with a singer, finding hope from the lyrics, or even just letting you hair down, and getting into music that puts a smile on your face for one reason or another. There’s always going to be a soundtrack to your life.

And I want to hear it. Share the music that picks you back up when you feel like you’re falling down.

– Si