Helpful & Unhelpful Reactions

Posted on September, 23rd 2015

It’s hard to know how to react when someone tells you they’re self-harming. Here’s a few ways that you could respond, to help them:

  • “I want to help you”
  • “I believe your pain when you tell me; you don’t need to hurt yourself to show it”
  • “I understand that you want to hurt yourself, but why not try something else instead?”
  • Be nice, sympathetic, offer a hug (if acceptable!)
  • Help them to find support projects, phone numbers, if they give permission to do so
  • Make time to listen to them, let them know “you’re not wasting my time”
  • Ask how you can help – what THEY want you to do for them
  • Acknowledge that self-harm is serving a need for that person
  • Respect their choice to carry on harming, however hard that is. They can’t be made to stop, and it won’t happen until they’re ready.
  • Focus on the issues behind the harming, not the harming itself
  • Seek further help when necessary, but be honest about it – let them know what you’re doing
  • Have an overnight bag of stuff ready, in case they should ever end up in A&E

Here’s a few UNhelpful (though probably natural) responses to try and avoid:

  • Laughing at it, or calling it stupid
  • Shouting
  • “You’re wasting my time”
  • “Get over it”
  • Blaming yourself
  • “Don’t you know you’re hurting ME?”
  • Forcing someone to talk about it, or show it
  • “You don’t WANT to self-harm”
  • Removing all sharp/dangerous objects
  • “You’re ruining your body”
  • Forcing them to make promises
  • Giving up on them
  • “You’re not helping yourself”
  • “Smile”

If you found this post helpful, check out some more of our Straight Up Advice.

see more
Latest Blog post

Read on...

October 9, 2024

Prioritising Mental Health in the Workpl...

October 10th marks World Mental Health Day. And the theme for this year is “Prioritising...

September 15, 2024

Tips from Tour – Staying Mentally ...

It’s another mental health tip from tour! This one’s coming to you from Atlanta, Georgia!...

September 15, 2024

Tips from Tour – Phoenix, Arizona...

It’s another tip from tour! Our founder Si is out in Phoenix, Arizona! If you...

0
    0
    Your bag
    Your bag is emptyReturn to Shop