This month we’re focussing on what it is to belong to a community. And so I want to take this opportunity to write about what the Heads Above The Waves community is to me.

Heads Above The Waves is the idea that no-one is a train wreck. No-one is a lost cause. No-one is a total screw up.

We want to create a community where everyone feels valid. Where everyone knows how important they are, and understands that they deserve to be happy and accepted. A community where everyone can rely on each other for the help and support they want when they need it. Maybe the whole world could do with being a little more like that.

Our aim is to share people’s stories about how they’ve overcome some of the worst and hardest situations of their lives, and have come out the other side to tell the tale. By sharing these stories and experiences, people are letting others know that they’re not the only one who’s ever felt like this. That it is possible to get better. That there are better ways of coping. And the more people that share their stories, the bigger the community is, and the bigger the collection of positive coping techniques.

On a more superficial level, we want you to see someone else in a HATW t-shirt or hoodie, and know that they stand for something positive. They support a message of hope, and they’re wearing it proudly. Whenever I see someone in a t-shirt of a band I love, I straight away have some connection with them, because we’re both clearly into the same sort of music. That’s the same sort of vibe we want from people seeing others in HATW merch – except rather than a connection over music, it’s a connection over something really important: hope.

A long term goal would be to get the whole country feeling like they can talk openly about anything that’s affecting them, so that no-one reaches the point where they feel like taking it out on themselves is the only option. And/or to simply make everyone aware of the places that exist to be there and listen to you for whatever problems you’re dealing with. By doing that, we can hopefully reduce the number of hospital admissions as a result of self-harm, lower the suicide rate, and improve overall happiness.

So that’s all well and good, but what can you actually do about it?

There’s a couple things you can do to help build this community and make it a reality rather than a long term goal. Talk to each other. That’s pretty much it.

Ring up someone you haven’t spoken to for a while (that’s right, your phone can be used to call people rather than just text and Snapchat) and see how they’re doing. But actually ask how they’re dealing with stuff right now and actually listen. If they’re having a problem, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have all the answers, or if you don’t know how to help, just caring enough to ask and being there to listen can make a huge difference.

Don’t be afraid to share how you’re doing and coping with your situations right now. It’s not a sign of weakness – if anything, it’s a sign of strength – to admit when you’re not coping so well and need some help. Remember how important you are. You’ve got a role to play that no-one else can, and so you should be on top of your game at all times. Sometimes you’re not able to be there on your own, and you need to reach out to others to pick you back up, dust you down, and put you back on your feet when you fall.

If you’ve overcome self-harm yourself and you want to inspire others, get in touch with us and share your story. We’re always looking out for new people to share how they overcame self-harm, in the hope that someone else can take something away from reading it.

Know where you can turn for help – we’ve compiled a list of them HERE. Bookmark that page and look it up whenever you, or someone you know, is having a hard time. All those helplines exist to give you the time of day you deserve. They care about your issues, and exist to help you figure it all out, because you’re worth it.

And if you see someone in a HATW shirt, go over and tell them that you know what the message behind it is, and that you support it too. You don’t have to go share your life story with them, but just know that you’ve come across someone else out there who wants everyone to be able to keep their heads above the waves.

– Si