In leaving negativity behind, you find something beautiful. – Tom DeLonge

One of the hardest lessons that I’ve had to learn, and indeed, that I think most people have to learn is that it’s okay – it’s even GOOD – to leave stuff behind you.

Some things in life are just bad for us. Sometimes that’s really obvious – like drinking too much, and waking up with a hangover – and sometimes it’s not, like people, places, friendships, relationships, or jobs.

A lot of the time, it’s hard to let things go and leave them behind, because the alternative seems scary and like things will be worse than they are now. If you’ve ever been in a relationship that’s bad for you, you’ve probably thought about leaving, but stayed because you either convince yourself you couldn’t do better, or because the thought of being on your own scares the hell outta you. Or maybe it’s that you’re in a school where you’re being bullied, and really struggling to get through every day there, but the idea of moving schools and having to start again fills you with utter terror. It could even be that you’ve got a friend who’s constantly making you make bad choices, or getting you in trouble – but you don’t want to stop hanging out with them because you don’t know who else you would spend your time with.

But the thing is: leaving something behind isn’t a bad thing. If it’s hurting you, then it’s good to leave it behind. And, as scary as the alternative might seem, things will get better once you do.

If you’re in that abusive relationship, leaving it behind will open up the possibility to meeting someone who treats you right. Leaving behind a school where you’re being bullied will mean you can get a fresh start and an education you can actually enjoy. Leaving behind that friend who’s making bad choices for you will mean you can start doing the things that you want to do, that don’t end with getting in trouble.

If leaving something behind feels like giving up, that’s a fair point. You might be the sort of person who wants to stick it out with a problem until it’s solved. But to overcome the problem, you have to acknowledge that it’s a problem. It may not be the person, place or situation that you leave behind, but the negative part of it.

Self-harm is, by definition, bad for you. It’s harmful to your body, which is obvious. But it’s also harmful to your mindset and your attitude. You can convince yourself that you might deserve this physical pain, but really, you don’t. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin. You deserve so much more than the hurt that you’re feeling right now. And you’ll get it one day. It might take what feels like forever, but you’ll realise just how much you’re worth, and make the decision to leave behind self-harm, and become the kick-ass person you deserve to be.

The first step is recognising that it’s a problem, and something negative stopping you from being as beautiful as you really are. It might be a scary first step, but it’s so hugely worth it.

– Si